Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective

A Mother's Power To Birth

by Lisa

I have given birth at home twice. The hospital birth of my first son was a parade of intervention after intervention, which led to a much longer and more painful recovery than is necessary in a normal birth. Going into the hospital changed my birth from a perfectly healthy, natural occurrence into a medical situation in which my body was assumed to be incapable of birthing on its own. I knew then that it wasn't right, but I didn’t know of any other way. I didn’t realize that women had choices! When I got pregnant for the second time, my plan was to birth with a midwife in a birth center, but I soon learned that Dayton doesn't have any freestanding birth centers. Home birth wasn't even an option in my mind at first. It took much reading for me to even entertain the idea, and then when it started sounding less crazy and more interesting, I was sure that I'd have to have a midwife there directing the entire process. But when I began researching midwives to do home births, I found that there were very few to choose from in my area, that there were some serious cliques and politics involved in the small underground group, that they each charged a hefty fee (which would be out of pocket, since Tricare insurance won’t touch home birth), and that they would be opening themselves to liability with the state of Ohio, which has no laws protecting midwives. As I researched home birth more I learned about unassisted childbirth (freebirthing) and that some people forgo the midwife altogether! I became really confident in my ability to have the baby with no medical assistance, although I thought it would be nice to have someone around that had done this before. I was able to find a couple of women that attend home births for no charge, since they couldn’t guarantee their presence at the birth due to full schedules, and they didn’t have any emergency equipment beyond herbs and homeopathy and some emergency experience. They were basically available to people who didn’t mind “doing it on their own” if it came to that. They were knowledgeable and kind, and exactly what I was looking for in terms of a very hands-off approach to birth.

My beautiful daughter was born at home with these women after an exciting, painful, and empowering 9 hour labor. I carried her for 42.5 weeks, and you better believe I was getting antsy and just about as uncomfortable as humanly possible! But she came at the perfect time. Natural, spontaneous labor was completely different than the induced labor I had experienced in the hospital, and while it was painful, it was also completely doable. The pain was a different kind of pain – it had a definite beginning and end, with the end of each contraction releasing an amazing cocktail of chemicals that completely relaxed and encouraged me. Being in my home, in my bed with my own clothes, and with only the people around that I chose, gave me the freedom to do and sound like whatever I wanted. I truly can’t imagine being able to feel the same authority to experience labor as loud or as quiet, as naked or as dressed, or as up or as down as I needed to if I were in a hospital setting. I know that women do have natural births in hospitals, and I have great respect for them, because I think that it’s much harder than birthing naturally at home. I needed the complete comfort and security that my home offered in order to focus in the way that I needed to birth the baby. After this awesome experience, I knew I could never birth away from home again!

I was due with my third child on November 9th, and even though my other two children had carried very late I thought that this one would come sooner. I felt so much more "pre-labor" than I ever did before, and I was sure that that meant I would be having the baby on time, if not early. A week or two before I was due I had a strong contraction that hit me while I was making breakfast. It rendered me frozen in place, seemed to lessen on occasion to allow me to change position, pour a glass of milk for the kids, sit on the couch, and then it started up again. It never completely went away during that time, and it was very painful, lasting for close to an hour before subsiding all together. I was so excited - I was sure labor was starting. I had never had contractions without being in labor before. But after that hour it was over, and contractions didn't pick up again for about two more weeks. Once they did they were painless tightening sensations that came and went whenever they pleased, keeping to no rhythm whatsoever. Two weeks of those erratic contractions were making me crazy, and since my mom was only in town for a few weeks we were all growing concerned that she would miss the birth. During the pregnancy I was told a few times that the baby was posterior, so I can only guess that my two weeks of painless contractions were simply getting the baby into a better position for labor to actually start and go smoothly.

At 41 weeks I began losing my mucous plug, which I thought was a sign that labor would be starting very soon, as it had with Melody's labor. But, to my great disappointment, I lost little bits of it for another week before anything happened. I tried to keep reminding myself that my body worked - it had birthed before and it would do it again. God's timing was perfect, and He was in control. But birth is such a crazy, miraculous thing that I'll never be able to fully grasp, and it was hard to let go and completely surrender no matter how hard I tried. I was very impatient, and not only did I not want to be pregnant anymore, but I wanted the baby to come so that I could be assured, once again, that it would all work out and my body really did know what it was doing.

On Tuesday, November 23rd, I was at Chick-Fil-A with the kids for a playgroup with our Le Leche League friends. At about 11 am I had another very painful contraction that grabbed a hold of me and didn't let go for a number of minutes. I had stood up to go to the bathroom and was frozen in place. I started to panic inside, because I was in so much pain and I thought it may be because I had to empty my bladder, but I knew that there was no way I could make it to the bathroom. After a few minutes it lessened, but it didn't release completely for a while longer. For the rest of the day I had the same painless contractions I had been having before, however this time they were regular. They stayed around 10 minutes apart all day long. But by midnight when they hadn't amounted to anything else, I went to be disappointed. I was now 42 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

At 1:15 am I awoke to a strong, painful contraction. More contractions followed and remained painful and 5 minutes apart for the next 25 minutes, so I then called my friend. I still wasn't sure if this was the real deal, since I had been let down so much before. But they were strong and regular, so I told her she could come over now. Dominic, my mom, and my older sister were here with me. My friend arrived and called a couple of other friends to join us. I spent the next couple of hours on my bed, moaning and swaying with my pillow. I tried to escape the contractions, but I couldn't. In my labor with Melody I vocalized the entire 9 hours. I yelled "ooooh" with every contraction. It seemed to help me cope - it was like I was yelling at my contractions, keeping them in check. At the end, during transition, vocalizing was all I could do to keep from feeling like I was just going to fall apart. This time, though, vocalizing didn't help much at all. I tried it a bit, but it seemed to almost annoy me more than anything else, so I stopped. When I stopped Dominic was worried that the contractions had lessened, but they definitely hadn't! With each contraction I remember rocking or swaying my head from side to side with my eyes closed, trying to run away in my mind. I held my pillow, and sometimes laid on it, but I didn't get off of my bed the entire time. My friends and family came upstairs to check on my occasionally, but mostly stayed downstairs. I was so tired, and that made the whole thing harder because I just wanted to go to sleep. I wanted to push the pause button and rest! At one point my friend, Dominic, my mom and sister were all in the room with me, and my friend was talking about something to them while I was having a contraction. I yelled at them to "Be quiet!!" And then I mumbled "just when I'm having a contraction...” I had to focus only on my body, and outside noise was adding stress. The contractions were getting slightly more intense and I was feeling a lot of pressure. I remember thinking that my water was going to break at any second because the pressure was so strong, and I felt a little fear at the understanding that there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was happening and I was completely out of control.

Around 4 am a friend and Dominic were in the room with me, and my friend suggested that I try to go pee. I did NOT want to get up! Dominic asked if he could go downstairs and get a snack (he hadn't left my side the whole time), and we said yes, so he did. All of a sudden I had a third strong contraction that didn't come and go like normal - it was sharp and didn't let up. I was standing by my bed frozen in pain; I felt stuck again. The baby was also moving during the contraction, which is something I'd never felt before and something I never want to feel again! His movement brought a whole new element of pain to the contraction. I was standing by the bed, whining at my friend that I couldn't move, and I didn't know what to do! It lessened after a few minutes and I made my way to the toilet. I can't remember if I peed or not, but I quickly had another contraction and my body started pushing. Not me, my body. It is so strange to have your body do something that you can't control. With that push my water broke and I yelled out in fear and excitement. It sort of exploded, just like it had with Melody. I knew the baby would be out any minute. Dominic says he heard me yell and ran upstairs, never getting to eat his rice! Everyone else ran upstairs, too, and grabbed all the cameras and met me in the bathroom. Luckily we have a big bathroom! Altogether there were 7 of us in there. My friend said that the water was clear, but later told me that there was meconium in the water but she had said it was clear so as not to worry me. I began to panic - the baby was coming, and I knew there was no way I could get off of the toilet in time! I was sure I'd push the baby out in to the toilet and then we'd have to get it out somehow, but I didn't know how! Watching the video I looked fairly calm, but inside I remember distinctly panicking about having the baby in the toilet. My mom asked me if I wanted to get up and I told her to "carry me". Ha! I'm 10 months pregnant, but please just lift me up and carry me to the bed! I put all my weight on her and my friend, and they did their best to lift me to a standing position in front of the toilet. I felt the next contraction, I felt my body pushing and I felt the baby coming down. Even though Melody's birth was un-medicated, I don't remember feeling the same sensations that I felt this time. I could feel him coming down the canal - I remember feeling his nose inside me. The only words I uttered were "Baby. Baby." This was my warning to Dominic to catch the baby! I felt him emerge, his head and then after just a moment the rest of him shot out. It was all in one contraction. And he really did shoot out - just like Melody. Apparently that's how I have them. And to think, I pushed Julian for an hour in the hospital! Dominic had to move fast to catch him, and because of my position he almost hit the back of the toilet! Dominic is a pro baby catcher now :) It was 4:14 am.

After I knew the baby was out I think I said something like "Thank God". The whole time I was in so much pain, I was so tired, and I was sure I couldn't do it. It is the highest mountain I will ever climb. It is the most terrifying and exciting thing anyone can ever go through. And I knew I couldn’t do it. Most women either catch their babies themselves or quickly take them and hold them. I didn't with Melody, and I didn't with Adrian. Both times I didn't even look at them for a few moments; I was too busy sort of regrouping myself. I had both of them standing up, so I stayed in my position and cried for a moment. I was so overwhelmed with relief and amazement that I couldn't even look yet. Adrian started crying soon and cried a LOT. Melody had been so peaceful, but this one was angry! I finally sat down and Dominic sort of weaved the cord through my legs so I could hold him. He looked just like Julian. I looked and saw that he was a boy (I had told no one to say the gender until I saw for myself). I felt very good. Very healthy and alert. Not in much pain. I sat on the toilet and held him for a long time. After about 5 or 10 minutes my body started pushing with another contraction and I knew that the placenta was coming, so my friend quickly lifted the toilet seat and put in the sitz bath so I could push it out right into there. Very convenient!

After a little while they helped me walk back to the bed and laid there for the next couple of hours with Adrian (whose name we hadn't decided on yet). My mom cut his very long cord after it had turned completely white and stopped pulsing.
I am so grateful to have gotten to experience 2 wonderful home births. Home birth is the right option for me. I know it isn't the right option for every woman, but I do wish that if nothing else I could just encourage other women to have faith in their bodies. To trust their inherent ability to birth. I am here to tell you that your body is not a lemon. We are perfectly designed, and the many emergencies that arise in the hospitals are more often than not caused by hospital interventions. When left alone, birth is almost always uneventful. Just the way it should be ;)

I'll end this with the inscription I included in Adrian's birth announcements. I did not write it, but I love it:

Adrian Scot Gorski was born

without technology or instruments

with no assistance, by his mother's own power

in utter peace, in his own home

surrounded by love, safety, and warmth.

His entrance into the world

a testament

to the complete rightness of

birth in its purest form.

Feel free to stop by and follow Lisa's blog: Disorganized and Unconventional Ramblings

**Please let me know if you would like to share your birth experience and be apart of my blog series, "Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective" Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.**

Birth: Putting Things into Perspective

Family Beginnings

By Lina

Although when I finally sat down to watch "The Business of Being Born" the movie had been removed, I think I beat "the system" and had just about the exact birth I wanted. On Tuesday at about 3am I woke up, partially because of a lightening storm and part for having my first contractions. I wandered edgily around the house, checking the weather channel in the dark and wondering if it were some sort of twisted premonition that maybe our child would be born on a tornado day or something. No, not so. Went back to sleep and had my first conscious contraction. Knew it right away - somehow had the presence of mind to count through it, and also imagined myself walking up a hill and back down (as contractions have peaks, and taper off... where I had [recently] read that, I know not). Guiltily called the midwife on Saby's urgings, and were told by a sleepy sounding Margie to chill at home and did, dutifully counting and timing contractions all morning and afternoon. Saby refused to go on a walk with me (which everyone was suggesting) because i think he imagined a birth on the corner down the block or something... so on his suggestion I did about 20 minutes of a yoga dvd and things really took off from there. I got in the shower under nice hot water, swayed back and forth, and he went downstairs to load the car and called the midwife, and she said we could come in and get checked... I don't think she thought we were very far along, because I was very calm and wasn't making a big deal about the pain. (thank you hypnobirthing and over-dosed pregnancy reading!!) We left for the hospital at 5 pm and when we got there, they checked me and I was 5 centimeters already :D So... we ordered dinner from MVH's awesome catering so we'd have something for later... I ate a few bites of chocolate mousse cake and some grapes, and me, Saby and my doula-friend Tabby all just sort of sat and chatted between contractions... I remember even saying to Tabby, as a contraction ended, that my mind flipped right back to whatever we were gossiping about! I was sitting on a birthing ball or leaning against it on the bed and swaying like a gypsy, which felt better than just standing or sitting. (the two Family Beginnings nurses were very complimentary of my lungi, saying it was just too comfy and convenient. for those who don't know, Lungis are the little "skirt" things that guys in Kerala wear. I was wearing one of Saby's.)

What I couldn't believe and had never read anybody else having was how much pressure and soreness was there in my legs... from the knee up towards my pelvis, that was so sore just generally and I had never expected that. At like 8:30 they checked me again and said I was 9.5 cm dilated and there was a little "lip of a cervix" in the front, so I should do somethings bending over to push the baby against it and then it would be time to push. Pretty quick after that I had an urge to push, which surprised me pleasantly, but not constantly or anything... they were filling up the tub and I was EXCITED to get in. At some point they said "do you mind if we have some students come in to watch? they've never seen a water birth or a natural birth..." So we had an audience but I didn't care, because I didn't open my eyes from about 9 o'clock onwards.

Holy crapoly... I got in, and it was like instant relief. I was making really corny jokes and floating around like a frog or turtle on my stomach, and the midwife and nurse came in and looked at me and said "you know, we tell people to do that and they won't... you're doing exactly the right thing." (yaaay! it felt good! why not!) floated around like that for awhile, and almost felt like I was wasting people's time... so after awhile contractions started coming back a bit more, and I tried pushing.

I asked Tabby to read to me from the Hypnobirthing book about pushing breathing, because it was never really covered in the class and I didn't feel like I was getting enough of a natural urge to know what to do. She read - like a heaven-sent book on tape - in the most beautiful calm voice ever, which provided me stress relief although not really any terribly specific information. I didn't want to get my body out of the beautiful pain-killing water, so I was pushing down between Saby's legs (he was seated on the side of the tub). It wasn't going really well, I think I pushed there for like an hour and a half or so. They wanted me to keep emptying my bladder, and I remember doing it a few times (was drinking lots of water) but apparently not enough. Speaking of water, they did break mine at some point - I couldn't really tell as it didn't hurt or anything, but I gave myself and little baby kudos after hearing the midwife say "ooh, nice clear water." (whoo hooo, no poop inside = non-stressed baby!)

The pushing did not seem like it was going anywhere - I was just trying to do whatever seemed the most natural and efficient to get the baby out at that point, but it was starting to really a.) hurt and b.) be discouraging. I think I got that time-warp sort of thing they talk about, because it seemed like every 5 minutes they were stopping me to check the baby's heart beat, which in turn also freaked me out, because I was afraid they were concerned about it and that was making me more nervous. It had been too high at the beginning (I was holding a warm rice bag to my abdomen for the cramps/contractions, and was throughly reprimanded by nurse Judy), and now it was getting down from there to 120 and all. Still definitely normal I guess, but the difference to me in my mind was shocking and disturbing. Everything seemed like it was going south, although all spectators and involved parties were still very upbeat and encouraging... "you're doing great" etc etc. Although it did suck - I can't think of a better way to describe it - whenever they'd ask me how I was doing, I would smile and give a thumbs up.

To me it seemed sudden, so - SUDDENLY, they said they wanted me to empty my bladder on the toilet. Getting out of the tub was an ordeal. I was pretty much naked - in a soaked tan sleep bra and nothing else - so they wrapped me in towels and blankets, put a pillow on the back of the industrial hospital toilet, and there I sat, dutifully trying my best to pee and, alternately, push. I think I was there with Tabby and Saby in the dark for about 15 minutes, asking for water, and I'm not sure if I ever did pee... but then they said to come to the bed. BUMMER! But bed sounded just a little better than toilet, so off we went... that 7 feet between the loo and the bed were tough. I somehow was heaved into the bed, onto my back, and my legs were neatly folded up so my bum was basically in the air. Then the counting began. How I had watched "Baby Story" and other Discovery Health shows, telling Saby how horrid and crappy that "push... c'mon, 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9..and 10!" scene was for both baby and mom. I couldn't help thinking that if I was holding my breath, then BABY was holding it too... poor thing. And ever since pushing urges had started, all I could imagine was my entire ass turning inside out and spending the rest of my life as a giant hemorrhoid. THAT should have been on the Birth Affirmations CD that I listened too... other than "your cervix is pink and healthy" it should have said "You will push your baby into the world without sustaining any longterm damage to your undercarriage." By the time we were on the bed though, I was past caring... it was "Get Baby Out!" time. I pushed. I held my breath and pushed. I learned at that point that I was not holding my breath enough - I was still letting it out. So damnit, I PUSHED like a mutha.

My eyes were shut for this entire process. At one point, I had what I felt like was a very productive push, and suddenly everyone was gone. Everyone in my line of sight, that is. The nurse and midwife suddenly had run over to the other side of the room! I asked "what happened? Did the baby come out?" I was scared that it had, and something was wrong. But no... they were just getting supplies apparently. The student nurses were still holding my legs and saying sweet things to me. I think Saby had thrown himself under the bed at this point. Soon after I think she crowned, and they asked me to reach down and feel my baby.... it felt like a tomato, all wet and squishy through my distended lady parts, and when they asked me again as her head emerged to touch my baby, I apparently told them "no, I don't want to hurt her." (her? hmmmm). Although I'm sure the events of this paragraph must have taken like 5 minutes, they went by in a flash for me, and the midwife very sternly told me, 'Open your eyes and push that baby towards the ceiling!!" So I did, and suddenly: push, gush, splash, orgasmic squishy feeling of relief and release... and suddenly a very wet, warm, wiggly baby was on my abdomen.

My legs were still up in the air. They didn't come down for another 15 minutes or so, ahhhhhhhhh... but the nurses were still holding them, and best of all, I was holding my baby. Who was a SHE baby. Who was filled "with crap" (said the midwife, meaning lots of mucus) but who had a pretty face and wide, wide open eyes and a big round mouth. She looked at me and I looked at her, while they rubbed both of us down. I could feel the big thick umbilical cord still coming out from between my legs - bizzare-o!! - and attaching us... they were rubbing her back and trying to get her to cough, although she was making nice newborn sounds as far as I was concerned... I guess they wanted a nice lusty cry. It seemed too soon but they took her about 4 feet away to clean her up a bit... measure, wipe, warm, and all... and that's where she proceeded to protest by pooping 3 times on nurse Judy. Meanwhile I was having a fun time getting my abdomen manipulated and delivering the placenta... whooo hooo, what fun! Then came stitches - I had torn a little bit, but apparently not in the terribly predictable areas, so I got a double seam, lucky me. In retrospect, that was the most painful part of the ENTIRE proceedings, because I still had my damn legs in the air after what seemed like 20 full hours. (they had been hurting from about 2pm onwards... the actually having to hold them up and out was just the icing on the horrid cake). Although exhausted, and soon, FREEZING, I felt like a million bucks and was telling jokes and explaining to the nurses how we had called the baby Spampy. Saby was calling across the room to her, "Spampyyy... Spampy!" and her little arm flew up in the air, on the warmer, as if it say, "I'm here, Daddy!"

**Please let me know if you would like to share your birth experience and be apart of my blog series, "Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective" Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.**

Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective

My Homebirth Story

by Carrie

I’m mostly a “modern” kind of girl. I met my hubby on eHarmony, I keep my iPhone on my person at all times, and I have been known to whiten my teeth from time to time. I like all the interesting advantages that technology affords me. So why, you might ask, when I peed on that stick and got the happy tidings of an impending infant, did I immediately begin researching midwives for an all-natural old-fashioned home birth? Honestly, the reasons are simple. I’m not a fan of hospitals, particularly in a situation where I’m not ill. I have a “don’t fix what ain’t broke” kind of philosophy when it comes to the process of labor. My disclaimer—of course—is that hospitals do have an important place for emergency or high-risk situations. But a hospital birth was not what I wanted.

My reading of natural childbirth information taught me that the routine interventions of a hospital labor & delivery are often themselves the cause of issues. I won’t go into a soapbox lecture about the pitocin-riddled overly-litigious mess that is current obstetric practice, but I will just say that I am so grateful that midwifery care is still alive and well in my area of the United States. I only wish that it were more available elsewhere. For those who aren’t familiar with the research, in a low risk pregnancy, home birth with qualified/trained caregivers is as safe as hospital birth for both mother and baby. Knowing this, I was very happy to take bumbling interns, grumpy nurses, intercom pages, IV needles and super-germs out of the equation and enjoy the comfort of my own home while going through labor. I could eat what I wanted, drink what I wanted, and move around with complete freedom.

After interviewing three different midwifery services, my husband and I agreed that Catherine and her associates would be the best fit for us. My pregnancy was a tough one. At about 20 weeks I began to experience the excruciating pain of symphasis pubis dysfunction (basically my hip and pubic bones began to grind together) which only got worse as my baby grew inside me. The smallest of movements were almost unbearable. I had to mentally prepare myself to swing my legs out of bed or maneuver myself out of the car every day. My monthly midwife visits with Catherine were so encouraging. I got the kind of care that every pregnant woman deserves: long chatty prenatal appointments, no wait time, full access to a qualified professional and a wonderfully experienced caregiver.

Fast forward to 40 weeks + 6 days. At last, I woke up to REAL contractions at 4:30am. I attempted to return to sleep, as I knew that first pregnancies take an average of 20 hours of labor before birth. But the contractions were just annoying enough that I could not get back to dreamland. I got up and took a shower and then found an iPhone app that helped me to time my contractions. Eventually I awakened my husband to tell him “today’s the day!”. I was vastly amused to watch him charge into action. He vacuumed the house, set up the birth tub, raised the temperature on our water heater, and then asked me what else he could do. I put him in charge of music and food.

The day kind of floated by in 5 minute intervals. The contractions weren’t killer, just exhausting. They gained in strength gradually, so by midday I needed to concentrate through them. Before that point, I mixed up a box of funfetti cake mix and popped it in to the oven for a Birth Day treat. The midwives arrived at noon and assessed me at about 4 centimeters dilated. They made themselves comfy on our couch with snacks and crossword puzzles. I labored however and wherever I wanted…and where I wanted was the TOILET. Yes, I spent hours in the bathroom with the lights off, breathing and mooing and chanting “down down down” to encourage my baby’s descent. Catherine listened to the baby’s heartbeat every half hour or so using a Doppler. I got into the birth tub and loved it for an hour. Then I hated it. I felt light-headed (as I often do when I hot tub or take long baths). I got out of the tub and returned to my old friend the toilet. My husband perched his bony tailbone on the edge of the bathtub and stayed with me as my resolve began to falter. “I don’t think I can do this,” I whispered to him at one point. “Um, you ARE doing it” he replied. I was seriously doubting him so I summoned the ever-helpful Catherine to check my dilation again. 9 with a lip of cervix! With my permission she broke my water.

I pushed for almost an hour. I moved around the house to try and find an effective position. Turns out that the living room was where Merit would emerge into this world. So many people and books had talked about the “ring of fire” that accompanies the baby’s crowning, but I never experienced it. My baby basically popped out, which caused my nether regions quite a bit of damage. She weighed in at 9 pounds 8 ounces, hearty and strong. I was a bit of a wreck however; there was a lot of blood on the chux pads beneath me. My husband was not given the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord; it was snipped and clamped in an instant and I had a faint idea that perhaps there might be something awry.

Here’s where the “experienced birth professional” part of home birth comes in quite handy. My brisk but gentle midwives assisted me to my bed, stitched up my extensive tears, administered an injection to slow my bleeding, and helped me to feed my baby for the very first time. Catherine and her team made sure that I ate, peed, and was completely stable before they left. They assessed the placenta, typed my baby’s blood, performed her APGAR scores, weighed her --and she was never more than two feet from my side. Not only did my midwives take care of my medical needs, they departed my house leaving it spotless. The next day I had a checkup visit at home, when I received my rhogam shot and got to ask all kinds of questions about baby care and my birth experience. I felt so cherished and safe and special.

My daughter’s home birth was an absolutely life-changing experience. That day of labor will forever be embedded in my identity as the day I entered motherhood. I will absolutely choose home birth with all of my future low-risk pregnancies.

Merit Claire turned one last week, and we celebrated with funfetti cake and lots of balloons. She walks and signs and has a double-dimpled smile that delights my heart.
**Please let me know if you would like to share your birth experience and be apart of my blog series, "Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective" Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.**

Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective

No Time To Prepare: A Fast and Natural Labor and Delivery

By: Amanda

I'm Amanda. Mom of three. I have a 9 year old girl, a 6.5 year old boy and a 15 month old son. I'm sharing the story of our youngest's birth. A fast natural hospital birth.

My due date with Nolan was February 14,2010. Typically I deliver about a week before so we felt he would probably go the same way. On Friday February 9,2010 I had a regular weekly doctor appointment with my OB. This was also the first time she was going to 'check' me. Everything looked great and I just KNEW I would be 3-4cm. At this point (39 weeks) with my first son, I was checked at 39 weeks and I was 4cm..he was born the next morning.

But nope. Not this time. I was 0 cm, high and not effaced at all. Talk about a major let down! I knew it would be another week before I saw her, and judging from the fact that I was not in any type of early labor I felt I would probably be pregnant until my due date or longer. The weekend went on and I looked forward to my weekly appointment the following Wednesday. Saturday February 10,2010 night rolled around and I felt so awful. I cried at my swollen feet and the fact that this was the longest I had ever been pregnant. My husband left for work at 8pm like he always does that night and I settled in with the laptop and my giant baby belly. I'm a night owl by nature, even pregnant so the night rolled on and I just felt awful. So tired, my head hurt so I tried to lay down around 1am. But my back hurt, the baby was so active, I had heartburn...sleep was just not happening. I decided to get up and eat hoping maybe he would settle down and I could sleep. Around 3:30am things changed. I knew my husband was on his break at work during that time so I called him and told him how bad I felt. He listened sweetly, telling me how sorry he was and that the baby would be here soon and I would not be miserable anymore. I laid down and don't remember sleeping much, just dozing in and out of consciousness with my back still sore (sciatica all 9 months...I did not think much of it) Then almost as if someone had smacked me I woke up at 6am on the dot very very sick. I have never been so sick in my life. I guess my body knew it was happening. I began having light braxton hicks that very quickly moved to real contractions. But they were so erratic. I would have two sets that were 5 minutes apart, and then not have another for 12 minutes, and then I would have one 3 minutes later, but then not again for 14 minutes. At a little before 7am I decided this was probably it, but felt silly going because they tell you to wait until the contractions are regular (I had no bloody show, my water had not broke or anything) I called and he arrived minutes later (he worked down the road from our house) we arrived at the hospital at 7:11am.

At this point my erratic contractions had become constant, and never ending. As soon as one would ease off I would feel another starting. As we walked into the hospital I began to feel a huge amount of pressure which was so alarming! In my mind (partly in denial I'm sure) I was still thinking they would say I was 5-6cm. We arrived at Labor and Delivery. It was still dark outside and there were actually no mothers in the ward that morning, no crying baby's anywhere. I changed and the nurse came in to check me. I had to ask her to stop many times so I could focus on the contraction. Finally she checked and looked at me very seriously. She climbed onto the bed with me, literally holding my son back. I asked her if I was dilated any, and she said she was holding my bag of water. Wow! My poor husband was probably about to faint, he was nervous enough. There was no doctor on call since there were no mother's birthing the night before. The nurse that checked me rode on the bed while the other quickly wheeled us into a labor and delivery room. I was quickly asked to get on the bed and I needed to push so bad. Being told that you cannot push when you so badly need to was the worst. The urge was just overwhelming. The second nurse is still frantically paging Dr. Turner who was at her home. Only a few minutes have passed at this point but it seemed like a lifetime. Breath, breath, don't push, contract, breath. Finally, I just could not control it. I knew he was coming and the nurse did too. My husband asked what was happening and she yelled for sterile towels. The second nurse ran in still asking me not to push. But I did. In one push my 6lbs 12 oz little boy was born into the world. He was born at 7:33am on February 11,2010. Just 22 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. Several minutes later my doctor walked into the room. She shook her head and laughed saying, "You told me you labor fast. I should have listened to you Friday!" There was no time for any prep work. No IV. It was just my husband and I,with the two nurses. It was a chaotic and unexpected birth but it was perfect. You can have an idea in your head of what you want a birth to be like, but it's one of the things in life that we truly have no control over!

**Please let me know if you would like to share your birth experience and be apart of my blog series, "Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective" Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.**

Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective

Becky's Story of a Hospital Induced Birth

I was due on Monday, October 26th, 2009. I had an appointment that morning for my weekly check. I went in and I was 90% effaced and barely dilated to a 1. My doctor gave me the choice of being induced Wednesday night or Sunday night. With Saturday being Halloween and not wanting a baby to have to share a birthday with a big holiday, I decided to go for Wednesday.

I was already on leave, so I made sure to finish everything up. On Wednesday we had to be at the hospital at 7, so we went out to Lazlo’s and I ate a huge meal! We got checked in and started the Cytotec. I walked around and rested uncomfortably.

I had an amazing nurse who understood my fear of needles; she was so nice they drew my blood from my IV line. My second dose of Cytotec couldn’t happen because contractions were too close together and too strong, so they held off. My doctor came in early morning and broke my water and started me on my pitocin. This is where I made my big mistake-instead of walking more and letting the pitocin do its job, I freaked about the epidural (I knew I wanted one, but was terrified of it) and wanted my amazing nurse to walk me through it.)

The morning went well, I progressed slowly but surely until about 2:00 and I just stopped. I was about 5 ½ inches for 3 ½ hours. The problem was that I’m extremely short waisted and the baby was 21 ¾ inches long. She had nowhere to go but sideways. My new nurse Lois massaged my stomach and had me moving into different positions every 15-30 minutes.

When we finally got her into the birth canal, I literally had to push and hold her there for over an hour. It was really hard from about 3:00 to 7:00 (24 hours later!) My epidural had started to wear off and I was exhausted. At about 7:30 they checked me again and I was finally at 9-½ cm. So they got me ready to start pushing.

I pushed and pushed and pushed. They used every trick in the book. They got the papers ready for me to have a C-Section. I pushed through it. I was NOT going to have a C-Section. I pushed with everything I had! At about 10:00, they gave me the mirror and I could see the hair. They told me to stop pushing and by God, I needed to push. The flurry of activity was amazing! When it was all ready, I pushed a few more times and she was out. Kinzie Lynn Ditmer was born on October 29th, 2009 at 10:21 pm.

I was bawling as they laid her on my chest. Nick got to cut her umbilical cord and we bonded together as a family. After meeting her grandparents, breast-feeding, a first bath and settling into our post-partum room, I finally got to sleep after almost 48 hours of being awake with a few short catnaps throughout labor.

I didn’t think I would have been in labor that long; almost 28 hours, thought I would go into labor on my own and wouldn’t have needed pitocin for so long.

My hopes for my next labor and delivery would be to go into labor on my own, walk more to shorten labor and wait a little longer for epidural. I know none of that may happen, but as long as I have a safe delivery I will be happy.

**Please let me know if you would like to share your birth experience and be apart of my blog series, "Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective" Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.**

Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective

You Need to Expect the Unexpected

by Shelly

My daughter's birth was a hospital/pitocin/epidural affair. The hospital part was planned. The rest was not. While not dead set on a natural delivery (I'm no hero) I wanted to try to make it without medication as long as possible. I didn't want an induction. Probably mostly because I wasn't uncomfortable. I was a week overdue, but didn't have that "get this over with" feeling. I didn't have any health issues, and bean seemed fine. I did have a partial previa, which I had known about since roughly week 20 or so. For this reason, I had regular ultrasounds, had seen the "high risk" doc, and I knew that a C section could be a possibility. Fortunately, by my due date, it looked like the placenta was just far enough away from the cervix for me to attempt a vaginal delivery. I was scheduled for a non stress test the morning after my water broke. It was greenish black, which meant bean was swimming in meconium. We went straight to the hospital, and I was put on pitocin to speed things up. I would have protested, but because of the meconium and the risk of bean aspirating it, it seemed best.

Well, pitocin sucks. It was not on my "birth plan" at all. In addition to this, I had a tube shoved up there to help circulate water so that it didn't get too low. I was scared to death of getting an epidural, but I did get one. I just could not take the contractions after about 6 hours or so. It pretty much only worked on side, and hurt like a mofo going in. My right lower half was completely numb and dead to the world. The left was perfectly functional and I could feel just about everything. It may have taken the edge off somewhat, but I could still feel it. 12 hours after leaving for the hospital, bean was born. The actual delivery was not at all what I expected. It was actually the least scary and painful part. And it was exhilarating and wonderful. For about 10 minutes.

After the birth, I started to hemorrhage. I don't remember what all happened, what meds I was given, or anything much at all really. I know that my placenta ruptured. I don't know if it had anything at all to do with the previa. I don't know if it could have been prevented. I honestly think it was a random thing. That's what I'm going with, anyway. I sure don't want to think about repeating it if we have any more children.

All in all, things may not have gone exactly as I "planned", but I was able to allow bean to come in her own time (sort of), and I did get to deliver her vaginally. And if it had not been for the loss of blood and being pretty much robbed of those first couple of days with bean (not to mention that it took MONTHS to start to feel human and get my energy back) I would say that I had very few complaints about her birth. I would choose a hospital birth again, I would choose pitocin again (if it was in the best interest of the baby, but not for convenience or scheduling reasons) and I would not feel bad about choosing an epidural again. In the end, I had to abandon my plans and expectations and make the best decisions I could at the time. And I have a happy, healthy, curious 14 month old to show for it.

Here is a previously posted birth story, with a few more details ~ The Screaming Tomato: Birth Story

**Please let me know if you would like to share your birth experience and be apart of my blog series, "Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective" Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.**

Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective

Two different Pregnancies, Two Different Outcomes

By Kylee

Even before I was pregnant I knew I wanted to have a midwife take care of me and my baby, I also knew I wanted a natural water birth. I know, sounds crazy, why would someone deny pain medication? I don't have a reason except, maybe; I wanted to test my pain tolerance! When I did get pregnant I soon learned that a natural birth would still be possible but there would be a good chance it would not happen, and it didn't. I was pregnant with fraternal twins and developed pre-eclampsia, I was put on bed rest and then at 37 1/2 I went to the hospital for a scheduled induction. My blood pressure was through the roof which then indicated I would have a c-section. I was ready to meet my boys and done being pregnant, hence I wasn't too heart broken by my "plan" not playing out. An hour after arriving at the hospital my twin boys were delivered and very healthy, I on the other hand was in a daze and in a lot of pain. I had a doula, a midwife, nurses and my husband plus two new babies coming at me in recovery and all I wanted to do was yell "stop" and slow everything down. Too many people, too much going on! The recovery of the c-section was hard and very painful, what hurt the most was I couldn't even get out of my bed to hold my babies.

Five years later we welcomed another little boy! When I got pregnant with Emerson, I was certain about having a VBAC, the same midwife, and no doula. This time around I didn't have my heart set on a plan, I knew the different birth scenarios that could be played out and with the Grace of God what was mean to happen would happen. Throughout my pregnancy I was calm and patient and knew that he would come when he was good and ready, and he did. A day before his due date I went into labor in the wee hours of the morning, by 5am I decided it was time to wake my husband and head to the hospital. I was blessed with a wonderful nurse and midwife that coached me through the contractions and up until pushing it was quiet and boring. At 11:51am our third boy arrived into the world and I had done it, a vaginal birth after a cesarean and without any pain medication! Shortly after I WALKED (could not do that for 5 days after C-Section) to the bathroom and sat in the Jacuzzi tub with my little man, my mind was clear and it was definitely not the whirlwind that the C-Section was. It was amazing and most of all I felt amazing. The pain was minimal and it was the birth experience I had envisioned.

I know that not everyone's experience is what they envision, I experienced both. I can only hope that by sharing my two experiences, a mother-to-be or an after birth mommy will be happy with their experience for what it was. For me it was my faith in God that guided me through both my experiences and more importantly, I have three very healthy boys which is the end result that really matters

**Please let me know if you would like to share your birth experience and be apart of my blog series, "Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective" Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.**

Birth: Putting Things Into Perspective

I want to do a blog series that highlights all the different forms of birth...home birth, hospital birth, csection birth, natural delivery hospital birth, birth center birth, labor induction birth, VBAC birth, etc. I'm hoping to find someone who fulfills each one of the listed categories in hopes they will become a guest blogger. This will give them the opportunity to tell their story (the pros and the cons, the ups and the downs, etc). By getting a different "perspective" on each type of birth, this could potentially help someone relate and or educate their different options of labor and delivery. I know all too well what you want to get out of labor and delivery doesn't always work out the way you want. So, it's always good to have an open mind at all the different possibilities and outcomes of delivering a baby.

Please let me know if this is something you are interested in helping me out on. Feel free to contact me via email at 3menandalady06@gmail.com. This will not only give someone the opportunity to have a voice, but to educate someone on their options as a woman and mother.