Why I hate my body...

Okay, some of you already know that Jesse and I have started to try for our 2nd child. We thought it was time to make W a big brother, because he was showing signs that he was ready to handle the responsibility of a big brother. For example, some friends of ours have a 5-month-old baby girl. She was over here one evening...started crying....W walked over to her carseat, grabbed her binkie, and put it in her mouth. It was the cutest thing ever, just melted all of our hearts. Anywho, some of you don't know that we've actually been trying for four cycles now. We tried once in Sept. of 2008 while Jess was home on his mid-tour, and picked up again in Feb. when he returned home from Korea.

I honestly didn't think it was going to be this difficult to get pregnant, knowing how easy it was to conceive W. I am almost a year (July of 2008) post-IUD removal, so I know my body has adjusted to live outside birth control. I normally have 31-32 day cycles, with ovulation occurring between cycle days 16-18. I've been charting on this website: www.fertilityfriend.com. It's definitely been an amazing tool to use, plus it gives me the insight on how my body works month after month. Besides charting, I also use ovulation predictor kits. I start taking them right around CD 10 and continue until I get a positive reading. Here is an example from this cycle:


There was only one cycle I didn't use the ovulation predictor kit nor did I temp, ya know going the whole "not trying, not preventing" thing (it worked great w/W). Well, that didn't work, so now I'm back to 100% of charting and taking OPK's (ovulation predictor kits). I'm currently 12 days past ovulation, and here is my current situation:



I did take a pregnancy test this morning, and it was a BFN (big fat negative to those who aren't in the trying to conceive world). Looks like we're onto cycle #5. I know it usually takes the average couple (with no history of infertility problems) six months to conceive. However, Jesse and I are doing everything in our power to hit the dot on the nose. We try to conceive during my fertile window, I'm taking a B-complex vitamin, multi-vitamin filled with folic acid, and 3 fish oil, omega 3 vitamins a day. I just hate my body right now. I'm trying my very best to eat healthy, and I do work out around 7 hours a week, so I'm even in better shape than I was when I got pregnant with W. I'm seriously starting to think my body is plotting against me...okay not really, but in hindsight I really wish I didn't have the IUD inserted. I really think that's the corporate to the reason why I'm not getting pregnant. Even though I was quite disappointed in my test result this morning, I'm starting to be accepting of the fact that God has a plan for Jesse and I. Maybe us going on vacation today for 13 days to Jesse's home state of Virginia is the reason why God decided getting pregnant right now wasn't in good timing.... I don't know...I just want this to happen sooner than later. I want more than anything to see two lines, heck I would take seeing two lines over winning the lottery at this point.

I will definitely keep you all updated if anything changes. I did toss the subject of this blog around a few times. I was a little nervous about opening up a part of my life that is a little private. However, knowing that I'm here in Ohio with no real friends yet, it's only best for me to get what I'm feeling off my chest. Thanks everyone for listening.