Saturday, October 23, 2010

Yikes, so that's what I look like? The Guide on the how to's and what not to do!

Becoming a mommy of two has definitely kept me on my toes. Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth, brush my hair, or even use the restroom. However, this morning while looking into the mirror, I noticed my eyebrows are literally growing into one nice bushy one. Right then and there I knew I had all the ingredients to one HOT MESS!

Here is the recipe to "One Hot Mess":

First we add a hubby who is currently on night shift...sprinkle a baby who doesn't sleep and a 3 year old who gave up his nap at 2 1/2...a house that never seems to pick itself up...and you have yourself a "hot mess".

I've usually been the one to have a positive perspective on everything, but since Jesse's been on this crazy shift, I have found myself being a huge bum on a log! Now, don't get me wrong, I know things could be a lot worse, and so grateful and lucky this job is a. temporary and b. not over in Afghanistan. However, I feel like I'm being tugged in every which direction known to man. There are times when I wish I could lean on family just for a few hours every weekend so I can try and clean a toilet without it turning into an experiment for W or even to just take a short cat nap (I've tried that once and W ended up going into the shower and emptying an entire bottle of body wash, thank goodness it was just body wash and not something like bleach all over the carpet). However, being a military wife you learn to adjust without that much needed help. P-man has never been a terrific sleeper, and we have had many, many nights of rocking, patting, singing, bouncing, dancing, etc. I will admit, I never take that time for granted, because I know he's only little just this once (I wish I had that perspective on it when W was that little, now he could care less if he gets a snuggle or not). With that said, I'm finding it more and more difficult to let P-man cry-it-out. I tried last night and gave in at five minutes, resulting in us having a party in "P-man's Crib" from 10:45 p.m. until 2:30 a.m.

I'm totally okay with putting myself on the back burner, but there are things I'm not okay with. The fact I'm so fatigued has really affected the way I've been parenting W. Now, this is one main thing that I really need to work at and put it at the top of my priority list. Most of my day seems to be mainly directed at meeting P-man's needs... hold him...feed him...change him...etc. So, during that time, W doesn't get 100% of my undivided attention. While P-man naps, I try and play or do something fun with him, but I'm so exhausted I've been finding myself nodding off. When W behaves poorly (usually while I'm attending to P-man), I've often found myself shouting over to him to change is behavior, instead of walking over there and talking to him about the consequences and then redirecting. I never wanted to be that parent...never! I'm really going to work hard on being strong, and overcoming my fatigue. I'm a definite mind over matter person, but lately that's not seem to be the case.

The housework will get done, however lately I've been putting it off to the last minute (i.e. having company over, my mom coming to town, etc). I really need to set a schedule and stick to it. Why does this always come back to being tired?! I have a lot to accomplish on my short term goals, but I truly believe I can get it done. I used to be quite the goal oriented person, again it all goes back to being a "hot mess". I always tell myself this, "No, Leyna, the house will not clean the mess, now get off Facebook and actually get some stuff done around the house!!!!!!!!" I really need to turn those words into action.

Planning meals will be an entirely different blog post, but I will talk about it very soon. I just realized the huge mess I made in the kitchen that probably shouldn't be put off. We have decided to do baby-led weaning with P-man (tomorrow's blogpost), and I boiled an apple for him to eat and cut up some toast.

I guess the unibrow, the split-ends, the chipped nails, the unpolished toes, the showers, and the dark circles will have to do for now. I guess in all reality, I'd rather be a hot mess physically than a bad mother.



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