Change: Sometimes It Can Be Unwelcoming

One thing I dislike about getting older is how many things change...your body...your appearance...your energy level...your patience...friendships/relationships, etc. Being back in my home state of Nebraska has definitely made me stop and think about how things are just not the same anymore. My old room is now a room for my two boys. Instead of walking in and seeing a full sized bed with a purple comforter on it, a desk filled with college homework and a computer, and a dresser with old memories... I now walk into to the same room where two twin beds are placed to make room for two sweet little boys. Closets are filled with old clothes I used to wear or I guess I should say, used to fit. Pictures and old high school and college memories are stored away in old shoe boxes. High School Yearbooks are covered in dust (I've now been out of high school for 11 years... yikes). Where has the time gone?!?!

Another thing I have come to realize is how friendships change. Coming home, not only do I have the excitement of seeing my family, but being able to catch up with old friends. Now, not many of you realize this, but I'm horrible about keeping in touch. My days are filled with keeping my boys entertained, keeping up with the housework and laundry, and honestly by the end of the day I'm ready to relax with my husband, or have some "me" time. Now, I know that sounds selfish, and I need to be better and making phone calls, emails, texts, etc. With that said, I may be horrible about keeping in touch, but I do know once I am back, I want to be able to spend a huge chunk of my time with those I miss. I've also come to realize people's lives just don't stop once I come into town...some of my friend's have full-time jobs and are working 60+ hour work weeks... some have planned vacations, etc. We are all on different timelines, which is understandable, and one of my "excuses" as to why I'm horrible about keeping in touch.

There are times I wish I could go back when I had half the responsibility, to come and go as I choose, to stay out late, to have all the time in the world to be on the phone, or just being able to sleep in. Last night, I went through all my old photos from different milestones in my life (high school sports, high school graduation, the college experience and graduation, summer camp, etc.) and many of those included people I thought would still be actively involved in my life today, and I look at those photos and know why that is. People move on, take different directions in life, start families, have challenging yet successful careers, travel the world, finishing college, etc. Would being able to stay in touch through all of that mean things would just pick up where they left off?! Unfortunately, that's not always the case. I guess I'm blessed with the few people who are still in my life, and for that am extremely blessed.

Time will always tick away, wither you're ready or not, and sometimes it can be welcomed as a good thing or a bad thing. Being a military family, I've come to accept change. My husband's schedule constantly changes. I know the house where we're currently living in is only temporary. The friendships I make being in the military will constantly be challenged, especially by every PCS (permanent change of station). Change happens, and I'm starting to finally welcome it with open arms. I love being able to come back to my "old" life and home, but now I have this new and amazon life, and realize home is where ever we go. It may only be temporary, but it's home. It is what it is, and it's up to me how I will challenge the ticking time clock. I'm ready to accept whatever life throws at me, even if it's grey hair and wrinkles.